Behind the Scenes, CM
by Cliara Aedai
Summary: These are short stories which include my memories but have been altered to revolve around everyone's favourite characters. No pairings, each story unrelated, does not fit in the story line. Will mainly centre around Reid. So far: Truth or Dare, Fainting, Peanut, Gullible, Gangnam Style,
1. Truth or Dare

A/N **Hello everyone, so I have had this story for literally weeks sitting on my computer. But I didn't want to post it because then my username would be on the recent stories list and my friends have been snooping around for it. It would have been easy for them to find. But they have somehow found it anyway, so I figure I will post it before I forget. It is one of a series of real memories of mine that have been exaggerated and put into my favourite series. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Criminal Minds.**

It was a cold night, dark and windy with the occasional howl from nearby dogs. The small house sat in a rural street, not far from where the BAU was situated. It was creamy white, with large rose bushes out the front and numerous cars gathered out the front. From outside the house, to a stranger walking by, no noise was coming from the foreboding house. But inside, there was quite the commotion with loud protests and screams coming from the youngest of the inhabitants.

"No way will I play truth or dare with you JJ and Garcia! Have you lost your mind? Do you know what could happen?" Dr. Spencer Reid yelled at the top of his voice, his throat muscles straining with the obvious effort. He glared at JJ first, before moving onto Derek Morgan, Hotch, Garcia, Prentiss and Rossi. They were all trying to keep composure, except for Morgan.

"Oh come on, man!" Derek Morgan laughed. "Don't be so ridiculous! This game's brilliant, and if JJ and my little sweet cakes with extra cherries on top wants to play, then we don't have a choice." He finished, laughing at the young man's tortured expression.

It wasn't that Reid didn't want to have fun, no it was nothing of the sort. It was just that he was afraid that the questions asked may be too personal, or that he would say something truthful that made them laugh at him. He knew within himself that he wasn't totally unconfident, but certain things could bring such emotions done upon him like a tidal wave; memories were one. But he knew he did not really have a choice on the matter, and as much as he didn't want to play, he knew his friends would be disappointed if they didn't at least play a few rounds. With a disappointed sigh, he agreed.

"Yay!" JJ squealed, relishing at the chance to feel young again. "Can I please go first Garcia? Seeing as this is my house?" She begged and the queen of flattery nodded seriously.

"But only if you ask…. Hotch first! And I have decided his will be a truth!"

JJ laughed as she picked her question carefully.

"Ok, Mr. Boss man. What was your first thought when we all invited you to come to our 'movie marathon' this weekend?

Hotch barely missed a beat, replying quickly and confidently, with a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Well, at first I thought you were joking. Then I rationalised that you wouldn't about something so carefree. Then I studied your eyes and micro expressions, along with looking out for any hint of your voice raising. After deciding that you weren't lying, I did a quick examination of your mental state at the present time, looking at factors such as stress or emotional toll. And then…."

"Hotch, calm down! We asked your first thought, the key word here being FIRST" JJ said as if speaking to a young child.

"Alright. My first thought was this "I work with a team of children."

There was a small pause in which Hotch looked afraid, as if it wasn't the correct answer. And then as if to signify the beginning of a storm, the team started laughing at impossible levels. Even Reid was crying from the force of hysteria over taking them all.

"OK, enough is enough. Can we move on please?" barked Hotch, red from embarrassment.

"Sorry Hotch, it was so funny!" Garcia squealed. "Next you have to ask…. Emily! And hers will be a dare."

JJ excused herself to go to the bathroom while the rest of the team thought of a suitable dare for Emily. Ideas such as smelling Morgan's socks, wearing Rossi's clothes and eating raw eggs were circled around before Hotch finally thought of one he deemed appropriate yet hilarious.

"Prentiss, when JJ comes back from the bathroom you must flirt with her while we continue the game. You must continue flirting until I say you can stop."

"Hotch!" Emily exclaimed, shocked beyond words. She was intent on arguing with him when JJ walked back in. Garcia glared at her meaningly, and she kept her mouth shut as Garcia began asking Rossi meaningless questions in order to continue the charade while Emily continued her dare.

"Hey JJ" Emily said in what was meant to be a seductive voice, her eyebrows raising.

"Umm. Hey Emily" JJ replied quickly, looking away.

"So…. Are you having fun?" She continued.

"I guess…."

"Because if you are getting bored we could… you know… find a room…." Emily continued, not faltering once.

"What! Emily! Have you been drinking alcohol? No more for you." JJ said sternly, terrified at her friend's behaviour. Then it somehow got worse. Prentiss _winked _at her. JJ gasped, rushing to stand up but was stopped by a tug on her leg. She looked down to find Emily.

"What in God's name is happening!" She screeched, yanking herself away. At this point, the whole team let go of their charade faces, succumbing to the need of laughter. JJ glared at them all.

"Why? Why would you..? And Emily..? Seriously…? I'm confused… Stop laughing and tell me what's happening!"

Reid was the first to regain his composure and explained to her gently.

"It was Emily's dare. She had to flirt with you when you came back in. She didn't mean any of it, honestly."

JJ huffed, sitting back down and glaring at everyone.

"I knew this would be a bad idea, Truth or Dare is a stupid game."

Reid shook his head at the irony.

**Thanks and please review!**


	2. Fainting

A/N **This is one of a series of real memories of mine that have been exaggerated and altered to fit Criminal Minds. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Criminal Minds.**

Dr. Spencer Reid of the FBI was uncomfortable. The seat at his desk was slightly wobbly, his pencil had broken and his coffee had gone cold. This mixture made for one stroppy agent, and the scowl on the perfectionists face was an obvious sign. He rationally decided that there was nothing he could immediately do about the broken chair, but the pencil and coffee was easily rectified.

"Morgan?" sighed Reid, as he looked up to the older agent sitting at his desk nearby. Morgan didn't move, and Reid noticed this immediately. After 13 seconds, he decided Morgan hadn't heard him.

"Morgan!" He said more forcefully, brows scrunching when he was yet again ignored. Reid stood up from his chair and made his way over to the slumped figure. Shaking Morgan's shoulders, he tried one more time.

"Morgan!"

The darker agent sat up abruptly.

"Yes? I'm awake, what's the emergency?" He slurred, trying to focus his eyes on the younger man before him. "You ok Reid?"

"Morgan, man, chill. I am fine, but I need your help with something." He admitted shyly.

His tone and request put Morgan instantly on alert, and he expected the worst. Reid never asked for help, and if he ever did it was for something important or life threatening. He instantly had all senses on alert and was ready to grab his gun if a situation arose.

"What's wrong Reid? Come on man, tell me!"

"Morgan calm down! I just… was wondering… hoping really… if maybe… I could borrow a pencil?" He finished, voice squeaking in his nervousness.

"You want… a pencil?" Morgan stared at him disbelievingly. All of this worry and the kid just wanted a pencil. With a bemused sigh he threw it towards Reid, who promptly missed the catch. Morgan just shook his head as Reid bent down to get it, his face brighter than a tomato.

"Thanks Morgan." Reid mumbled before putting the pencil down on his desk and picking up the mug full of cold, forgotten coffee that desperately needed to be replaced. He walked towards the coffee machine without looking at the older agent, embarrassed to look him in the eye. Setting down the coffee mug on the bench after emptying it in the sink, Reid was about to proceed and turn on the maker when a sudden hot flush swept through his body. He was really hot all of a sudden, the whole bull pen was. His torso was hot, his head was hot, his throat was burning and he was going to be sick. Forgetting about the coffee and the older agent only metres from him, Reid hunched over the bin, gripping his skull. This wasn't like the random headaches he had been experiencing. Those were centred on a white pain; this was centred on a ridiculous heat that was consuming him. Then just as he thought he was going to throw up into the bin, he realised he really needed to go to the toilet. Really desperately. Intent on making it into the bathroom before he lost everything from his stomach, Reid quickly stood up. But he couldn't move towards the bathroom because he couldn't see; black spots covered his entire right vision, and the left was hardly better. The heat intensified, if that was even possible, and Reid cried out, unable to stand it any longer. He felt himself falling, and his last coherent though was 'I think I might lay down now' before his vision vanished and he hit the ground hard.

Morgan was still wondering about Reid and his nervousness in asking for a pencil as he heard the agent empty the coffee into the sink behind him. Morgan knew that the kid's childhood had been difficult, and he knew that he had some trust and self-worth issues, but the attitude he had just displayed worried him. Making a mental note to tell Hotch what he was worried about, Morgan focused back onto his work.

That is, until he heard a small cry of pain and the unmistakable thud of a human body falling. He turned around to see Reid lying on the ground, limbs spread at unnatural angles, wearing a dazed expression. Standing up without hesitation, Morgan all but ran over to his side.

"Hey Reid, look at me pretty boy, you are going to be fine. Can you tell me what happened? Do you hurt anywhere?" He tried to keep his voice calm and soothing but he knew some of his deeply rooted worry was seeping through. He tried to get Reid's eyes to focus on him by staying in his vision, but it was clear to him that he wasn't completely lucid yet.

"Ummm… I am perfectly ok. Okkie dokie. Bright and dandy. I don't really know what happened, I just felt hot, then sick, and then I fell. Ugh, it's still hot. "He replied, fanning his face as he spoke.

"Just hang on in there pretty boy, I will get a flannel or something. Don't get up."

Morgan stood up and instantly realised that there were not going to be any flannels in the BAU, so he settled for a new sponge instead. He quickly wet it under the tap and knelt back down to put it on Reid's forehead. The agent lying on the ground was seeing things much more clearly now, and with Morgan's help, he sat up slowly, letting himself get used to being upright again.

"Reid, maybe I should take you to the hospital? Or at least get Hotch?" Morgan suggested, surprised none of the other workers had seen Reid faint. But then again, the other members of the team were following a lead for a prosecution gone wrong, and it was too early for other workers to be here.

"Nah, I am fine Morgan. I feel 100% now." And to prove it, he stood up, despite the exclamations from Morgan to take it easy. But Reid was steady on his now, and honestly looked as healthy as ever.

"Alright, but I am taking you home now and telling Hotch you are taking a sick day. Hey! That's my final offer; if you refuse I will carry you to the hospital." Morgan warned, and tried not to laugh at Reid's face after his threat. It was clear Reid did not want to be carried. And with that all but decided, Morgan pulled his keys out from his pocket.

"Come on pretty boy, and try to stay on your feet this time."

**Thanks and please review!**


	3. Peanut

**A/N ****So yes, the next instalment is here. And before you ask, yes, this is based on a real life…situation. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Criminal Minds**

* * *

><p><em><span>The Most;<span>__ the ultimate in something_

_Embarrassing;__ to cause confusion and shame to_

_Day;__ the time between sunrise and sunset_

_Ever;__ at all times_

"Therefore, The Most Embarrassing Day Ever is also known as the ultimate cause of confusion and shame between sunrise and sunset of all times." Quoted by no one ever.

* * *

><p>It was 8am when JJ walked into the Bureau, balancing her coffee, paperwork and handbag expertly. She walked past the few people mingling in the corridor with a polite smile as she made her way to her desk to put down her things.<p>

"Hey JJ!" A cheery voice greeted her from across the room. She looked up with a smile to Reid, who was also sporting a coffee as he walked down the stairs to greet her. She grimaced as she pondered just how many teaspoons of sugar had been added in that beverage.

"Hey Spence." She said, noticing how her voice was uncomfortably loud in the almost empty bureau. No one else was expected for at least another twenty minutes, but it was no surprise to see Reid already waiting. He was always the first one in, and insisted that he would rather be early than late whenever someone would suggest he arrive later.

"So, how was your night? How is little Henry?" Reid queried as he came to a halt behind her desk to sit on the empty chair.

"It was great, thanks. Will was home last night, so we had a family meal for the first time in ages. And Henry is really good, and settling in well at his new care centre. We think he might have a crush on one of the other girls though, because she is all he talks about. I think it's cute! And Will is home today, so they are having some well over-due boy time."

Reid laughed slightly and smiled, before crossing his eyebrows in confusion.

"Hey JJ, why are your shoes different?" he asked.

"Hmm?" JJ asked, distracted as she put the last filed into their correct drawers. "They're not; I bought them nearly a month ago when the old ones broke."

Reid chuckled. "No, I mean, why don't they match?"

"WHAT!" JJ screeched, dropping the papers she was holding on the ground in horror before looking down with dread at her shoes.

"Oh my goodness." She groaned, as she realised what she had done. One of her shoes was light blue with a silver strap, while the other was white with a blue strap. They were completely and utterly different. She shook her head in baffled horror.

Reid, however, did not have quite the same negative outlook. No, he was laughing so hard that tears streamed down his face in a never ending stream and he was doubled over in pain.

"Spence! This isn't funny!" She whined, although the beginnings of a smile were tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Yes, yes it is!" Reid gasped, before continuing his record-long laughter.

"Oh, be quiet and come with me!" JJ said, still in shock over exactly how she had managed to wear odd shoes and not realise until someone pointed it out to her. She grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the door.

"Spence, you had better not tell anyone about this! Maybe they won't realise…" She said doubtfully, before glaring at Reid when he began hysterically laughing again.

Together JJ (followed by Reid) quickly walked towards the front desk, desperately trying to avoid attracting everyone's attention. She was just about to turn the corner when she suddenly stopped and reached into her front pocket to pull out her cell phone.

"This is not going to be pretty…" she murmured before grudgingly dialling her own home number to where she knew Will would answer.

"Hello?" He answered softly.

"Hey, Will. It's me. Listen, do you reckon you could come up to the bureau for me? I would drive home myself but you dropped me off this morning so I don't have my car." She asked.

"Oh Jayje, what have you done this time?" He answered back, humour starting to leak into his fatigued voice.

"What! Why would you automatically assume I have done something stupid?" JJ asked, slightly offended. Reid started laughing all over again, this time having to sit down to prevent himself falling.

"Oh, babe. I know you, remember? What do you need?"

"Well, you see… I might have accidentally managed to put on different shoes this morning." There was a silence.

"Ha ha!" Will laughed into the phone, completely ignoring JJ's feeble attempts to make him be quiet. It was a lost cause, however, and soon JJ found herself laughing at the idiocy of the situation too.

"Ok, babe. I'll be there in twenty minutes. Which shoe do you want me to bring?"

* * *

><p>It was a good five minutes before the embarrassed young profiler gained enough courage to go to the front desk. She ordered that Reid not laugh while she explained the situation, however she doubted his promise would last.<p>

"Hi, Agent Jennifer Jureau." JJ introduced as she shook the ladies hand behind the counter.

"Hello Agent Jureau. How may I help you?"

JJ gulped in apprehension.

"Well, I just thought I would inform you of the situation I find myself in before you find out the confusing way. My partner is going to be bringing a shoe in around 15 minutes to the bureau, and I can't meet him to get it because I have a meeting in five minutes. So do you think you would be able to mind it until I come and collect it in an hour or so?"

The lady smiled kindly before agreeing. "Do you mind if I ask you why he will be delivering one shoe?"

JJ had been dreading this inevitable question. "Well, you see, I somehow managed to wear odd shoes today to work, so he is bringing one up so that I can change…"

And Reid lost it again, pulling out a tissue to muffle his laughter.

* * *

><p>An entire hour later, and JJ didn't think she would ever stop blushing. The red had tainted her cheeks non-stop throughout the meeting because Reid had <em>thoughtfully<em> shared with the entire team what she had done, and they had all _kindly_ responded with laughter at her predicament. Every single time that she met the eyes of one of the team, she saw humour bubble in their expressions and her face flame. Morgan was utterly infuriating, dropping comments and hints left, right and centre. He would 'drop' his pen next to her shoes, bend over to pick it up and then comment on how beautiful her shoes were today. Prentiss asked her which sale she had found such a unique pair at, and even Hotch joined in, 'admonishing' her for impractical footwear for their line of work.

By the end of the meeting, JJ was exhausted.

She quickly made her way through the corridors, exceptionally aware of the people around her, and down to the front desk. The lady behind the counter smiled in welcoming recognition as JJ reached her.

"Here is your shoe, Agent. I trust your morning went well?"

"Oh, you have no idea." JJ muttered, gratefully changing her mismatching shoe so that she now wore a matching pair. She sighed in relief and smiled up brightly at the kind woman still looking at her. She thanked her and was about to walk off when she realised the shoe wasn't sitting correctly. Bending down in confusion and taking off the shoe again to inspect what was wrong, JJ found a small sealed bag with a note inside of it, neatly wedged in her shoe.

"What?" She muttered quietly. She quickly unzipped the bag and took out the note.

_Inside this bag you will find a reminder of what you are._

_Good one._

The message was scrawled in a barely legible font which she instantly recognised as Will's. Still puzzled as to what he meant, she gazed into the bag again, not expecting what she found.

A peanut.

_Yes. _JJ thought. _I am a peanut._


	4. Gullible

**A/N ****Completely and utterly random, I know, you don't have to tell me. I've realised. However, please enjoy this grippingly dramatic one-shot once again. Reviews are appreciated, even if only to tell me that I ought to sleep and not listen to all the suggestions of my mind; they are often crazy.**

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Criminal Minds**

"Hey Rossi," Reid said gleefully, resembling a child in a toy store. "Rossi!"

"What, Reid?" Rossi answered with stiff politeness, exceptionally tired. He spun his chair around to face the young genius before him. He looked as though he might actually jump out of his seat in excitement. It was unnerving, to say the least, and there was no Morgan to beg of help.

"Did you know that Emily is really gullible?"

"Oh?"

"Yep."

"Hey Reid?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't care."

"Oh, ok."

And thankfully, that was the end of that conversation.

* * *

><p>However, it wasn't the end of the notion. Not two hours later, as Rossi was focussing heavily on the paperwork before him, he heard Reid approach Emily with a suspiciously warm greeting.<p>

"Hey Emily. How are you?"

She smiled up at him, appreciating the gesture. "I'm great, thanks Reid. Was there something you needed?"

"Not really," he began. "Except, well, I read this really interesting fact in a new scientology book I bought on Thursday. Did you know that when you raise a shell to your ear, you aren't actually hearing the ocean? It's the blood rushing through the vessels in your ear! How cool is that? You know that means that every time we tell children, the next generation to run this planet we have hopelessly harmed, that it's the sound of the ocean we are lying to them. We could be facing a very serious issue of this piece of knowledge being lost because of the lies we are telling! It's preposterous! And what's more, these children are actually healthier than we are, considering that they laugh 300 times a day compared to an adults 15 to 100 times. It is common knowledge that laughter improves the immune system," he rattled, only stopping to breathe when Prentiss placed an arm on his shoulder.

"Reid, that's fascinating. But I need to work," she said with a small smile before turning her attention back to the computer. Reid happily obeyed, walking back to his desk with a smug smile.

* * *

><p>He sat there for thirty minutes with that smile, trying not to laugh, before Rossi cracked.<p>

"What are you smirking about Reid?"

The doctor in question merely chuckled, until he caught the stern gaze.

"Fine, I caught out Emily!" He whispered then broke out into hysterical laughter that attracted the attention of all in the bullpen.

"How?"

"Before, when I was telling her all those facts, she believed me when I told her that I read them in a book I bought on _Thursday! _I bought it on Wednesday!"

Reid promptly laid his head in his folded arms, completely lost in his hysterics.

Rossi promptly left, embarrassed to be in such company.

Neither noticed the dark haired woman stand from her desk chair and make her way over to Reid. She stood before him and waited for him to acknowledge her presence.

"Hey Emily," Reid managed, attempting to get his emotions under control.

"Hey," she replied. "Wow, look at that! Gullible is written on the ceiling."

And to everyone's pleasure, Reid looked up and scanned the ceiling before swearing when he realised pay-back had been dealt.


	5. Gangnam Style

**A/N ****I would like to thank FutureFBI, Post U Later, thetyger, Little Soldier Mine, People Person I'm Not, Rebecca1, and theanglesarecoming for reviewing! I was so excited, I can't even explain… anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer**** I do not own anything**

Reid was rarely confused; anything to do with education, science studies, criminal activities, psychology, or basic anthropology never addled with his brain. He also, partly because of his job, considered himself to be rather knowledgeable about people, their behaviours and thoughts.

But not now.

No, everything he once understood had been challenged; challenged by this one phenomenon that was truly impossible. How could the human race become so obsessed with something so… eccentric?

The one question he would never know the answer to.

* * *

><p>"Hey guys, how's it going?" he asked as he slid through the doors. It was an odd room, to an outsider, with every spare surface covered with intelligent images, notes and diagrams all centred around outer space. It was the monthly meeting room for their club, where each of the ten members would bring forth new information to discuss and analyse, before being sent to science magazines if determined as 'exciting'.<p>

"Hello Reid, why don't you come and sit down?" said a professional looking man with hair slicked so flat that ice-skaters would be envious of such a surface. Reid followed the man's recommendation, seating himself in the usual chair and organising his research over the tables.

"Gentleman, considering I was absent last meeting due to work, I have twice the information to discuss. The first is a _scandalous_ claim that Jupiter is not in fact a planet…" And the rambles went on, intently listened to by nine other space fanatics.

The meeting continued uninterrupted and due on course until three hours in, when Mr Corey's iPad signalled a new email labelled as 'urgent'. With a slight frown, he opened it to read what his fifteen year-old daughter was sending him.

It opened in a YouTube screen, to the surprise of all. And almost instantly it started playing.

Reid was shocked.

A man, dressed in a crazy suite, was prancing around and singing a song in another language, much like a horse. Elevators, many women and a repetitive dance featured in the crazy music video adding to its craziness; but it was the catchy tune and addictive expressions on his science friends' faces that truly sent him into a spiral of annoyance.

"Guys, back to work?" A long silence followed.

"Gentlemen, the new roamer we were talking about?"

"Excuse me!"

And still, no one answered, all eyes fixed on the screen before them.

Reid stood, utterly irritated, packed his things and walked out the door all the while mumbling. "Stupid Gangnam Style…crazy friends…"

* * *

><p>It was only a few days later when Reid farewelled the rest of his team members to head on a plane and visit his mother. Everything had been packed days prior, as was the doctor's nature, and all that was left was the actual journey.<p>

It passed smoothly, and three books later Reid found himself ready to leave the plane. Waiting patiently for a young family to go before him, he then went to pass through customs and collect his luggage. The line was long and boring, with the only source of entertainment being a small television on the wall.

And then, to his utter horror, that _stupid _song came on.

"Oppan Gangnam Style."

Reid groaned. Airports were weird, and so were his science club members.

* * *

><p>But while these two experiences, within close proximity, were weird and untasteful there was one that topped the lot.<p>

The young doctor had just returned from his trip the previous night and was late in to work for the first time recorded. He was tired and stressed, and had so much of his life focussed on his mother and work that things were starting to slip past him – much like the alarm this morning.

But nonetheless, Reid finally arrived and walked through the bullpen an hour late. The sight that met him was truly one of those 'pinch me' moments.

Morgan. Dancing. _To the Gangnam Style Dance._

It was at this moment, watching his friend dance like a lunatic and his female co-workers edge him on, that Reid truly appreciated for the first time just how the human race was evolving. It was terribly disconcerting.

"Morgan! Turn that down!" Hotch's voice boomed from his office, and Morgan hastily complied.

"Thank you," Reid whispered.

* * *

><p><em>It was everywhere! <em>On the T.V, the radio, in supermarkets and on advertisements; it seemed like the reign would never end, and anyone who disputed it was labelled as mental. And so Reid came to the conclusion that he would have to adapt alongside the human race, and try to see what was so addictive about the song. He listened to it, as least twenty times, and memorised the lyrics and musical structure as he researched other factors that were so-called _appealing _about the song. But as hard as he tried, Reid could not seem to grasp onto it.

He accepted his failure,_ almost_ happily, until Hotch's phone rang on the plane; his ringtone was Gangnam Style.

The next day, Hotch couldn't find his phone _anywhere_.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks! And just for the record, I have nothing against the song but I feel as though Reid would… and suggestions on what genre you like best would be welcome! Happy, sad, funny?<strong>


End file.
